


kuwata famiry

by kyoko_naegi



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 11:56:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10898868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyoko_naegi/pseuds/kyoko_naegi
Summary: this was made last year and is still one of the best things i ever helped write





	kuwata famiry

**_Life was peaceful in Towa City after the events of The Tragedy. All the citizens lived in harmony, and the survivors of The Tragedy lived in little settlements. But one family in particular, was just over-the-top batshit insane (and they were very ghey). That was the_ **

**_Kuwata family._ **

 

**_(Kuzu: Nigga Seiko has a drug that revives fallen niggas so yeaaah)_ **

 

“NIGGA WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY HOT POCKETS?!” Leon yelled at the top of his lungs, flipping over the dining table sending all the plates and table decorations to the floor with a loud crash.

“Dad no one wants to eat that disgusting stuff,” Mikan said, being the sassy nurse she is. 

“SHUT UP YOU WHINEY BASTARD, I LIKE THIS SHIT, CUNT!” Widdle Fuyuhiko called out from behind the sofa.

“Both of you shut up already. You’re too god damn loud.” Izuru said, glaring at that those idiots.

“Like father like son I guess,” Miaya sighed, even though that was kinda hard to do since her scarf was covering her face (NICE IMMERSION).

“Dad, when are we gonna get some Honey Nut Cheerios?-” Hajimeme began.

“HAJIMEME, MY SON, THE ONLY HONEY NUT SHIT YOU’S GETTING IS HONEY NUT  **SPEARIOS** LIKE THAT NAGITO NIGGA NEXT DOOR”

“D AD WHY ARE YOU SO ABUSIVE TO HAIJIMEME?” Naegi asked

“WHAT ABOUT CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH” Miaya suddenly yelled, throwing a mousepad at her children

“I’M ABUSIVE TO THE LITTLE FAGGOT BECAUSE HE NEEDS TO LEARN TO GROW A PAIR OF HAIRY TESTICLES AND MAN THE FUCK UP!” Leon fucking screamed, throwing a knife at Sayaka, triggering PTSD in her.

Naegi regrets every choice he’s made in life. He wishes that he wasn’t born in this god forsaken famiry.

“Dad please we’re lucky that I’m in this fucking family. If it weren’t for me everyone would be ded by now,” Minak continued being sassy af. She had been like this ever since she was revived by her very ghey senpai.

“This family is a fucking wreck! it’s more fucked up than your taste in hot pockets Leon!!” Miaya screamed from her sick ass wheelchair

Naegi is confused. Is his mem Sayaka or Miaya? He hopes it’s Miaya. Otherwise it wouldn’t go according to the fanfiction he reads.

Naegi was too fucking dumb to recognize his own mother

i mean, how stupid do you have to be?

Naegi has seen contradicting information. The narration of several people.

SORE WA CHIGAU YO

YOU’RE A DESPAIR NIGGA? YES

Naegi wonders what he’s wrong about. (clue: it’s everything)

“Anyway, Naegi we need to talk about your… straightness in this family. You’re the only one who isn’t gay,” Miaya suddenly turned serious and stopped eating the hot pockets she stole from Leon.

“WASN’T HAJIMEME BI-”

“He’s half gay though,” Izuru defended.

“BUT I CAN’T HELP MY LOVE FOR SOMEONE WHO’S SUDDENLY MY SISTER OR MOM”

“THAT’S NOT WHAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT HERE. NAEGI YOU NEED TO BE GAY. FOR THE FAMIRYYYYYYYYYYYY”

“I CAN’T CONTROL THAT EITHER”

“Why are we even talking about this? Buy me food already.” Izuru interjected, pissed at everyone but never showing it.

“Izuru eat a fucking hot pocket”

“Nobody likes Hot Pockets you fucking ass.”

“I’ll buy you some later Izu. Mem’s right, Naegi’s too straight.” The nurse replied to her adopted brother.

“He’s straighter than a fucking pencil for christ’s sake!” Miaya cried out, disappointed in her adopted son (yet again).

The smol Chiaki was just sleeping on the table as usual, not giving a shit about the discussion. Because who the fuck cares if her Naegi brother was straight? (everyone and the Kuwata famiry you dipshit gamer)

Naegi just wants to (Maybe?) love Sayaka and browse dank memes. Unfortunately his family wouldn’t let him.

Minak was starting to get bored of this argument and picked Chiaki up from the table.

“You don’t know where that Chiakioop’s been Minak”

“...What?” Naegi asks, since Chiaki’s his sibling and has clearly been on the table.

“I don’t care this is getting boring I don’t care if Naegi’s straight anymore Izu let’s get some ice cream.” Izuru was influencing his sister too much, which is why she became a female Izuru.

“FUCK ICE CREAM” Miaya yelled, hitting Minak with a fly swatter bc she could, “AND FUCK ALL OF YOU, EVEN ME”

“MEM I JUST WANT TO EAT SOME ICE CREAM WITH CHI-CHI AND IZU BC THIS ARGUMENT IS GETTING FUCKING WEIRD, EVEN FOR ME.”

“NO, NOBODY DESERVES JACK SHIT”

“Can I have some ice cream too Minak?” Naegi asked

“Fine.”

_ “This family is a trainwreck” _

“Haji, let’s go get food with Chi and Minak.” Izuru took his brother and sister and left.

Naegi was about to leave as well until Miaya started screaming (for no reason) again.

“What now, mem?” Naegi asked

...Silence. 


End file.
